In
general, masculinity is defined as the characteristic of a man or as simply
manliness. Masculinity should be owned by a man since God Himself, known as the
ideal man, has His masculinity. We should understand that masculinity is
bestowed to man as a gift from God; however, it is not simply by our nature or
applied since birth. A boy should develop and learn his masculinity to become a
man from another man who is mature. Peers and friends cannot instill
masculinity to the boy since his friends are not a mature man as well. The
ideal man that God have set for us to develop and teach masculinity is our own
father. The father is the first person who lays the foundation of masculinity
to us in our heart and gives us confidence as we grow; therefore, the son-father
relationship is very important.
In
the modern culture today, many men who were transgendered or gay have lived
with a false masculinity. Back then, people were ashamed to admit that they’re
abnormal in terms of sex; contradictorily, now, such cases are being clearly
exposed and are developing. Those people surely were developed by the wrong
image of masculinity which is mostly caused by having bad relationship with
their father. Living such life is absolutely unsupported by the Bible since God
clearly show the distinctive during the creation of Adam and Eve between the
male gender and the female gender.
We
should understand that having the right image of masculinity when we are young
is very essential and will affect our masculinity later in the future. Numbers
6 mentioned that there is an Aaronic blessing that a father should give to his
sons. The story of Esau shows how a man who lost the blessing from his father
ends up as a wild man in contrast with his brother, Jacob. Although it is the
responsibility of the father to show and build the masculinity in us boys, the
image of masculinity should not necessarily come from our father. Other mature
man such as our relative or mentor could also build and develop the masculinity
inside us.
As a
personal application, the relationship between me and my father was not so
good, especially in my younger age. As I was little, my father does not show a
good image of man towards me since he does not live a righteous life. It was,
therefore, difficult for me to build a good relationship with him even until
today although my father has repented for almost seven years. Unlike many of my
friends and their father, there is this gap set between me and my father that
makes me feel a little awkward when I talk to him. Now I should try my best to
forgive my father and forget about the past so that I may develop a good
relationship with him. By building the father-son relationship between me and
my father, I believe that it is not too late and that there is still a chance
for him to develop the masculinity inside to have better quality that I may be
ready to become a man and then show an example of masculinity to the following
generations. Luckily, during the period back then when my father was not living
the righteous life, there was my uncle from my mother’s side who cared for me
that he shows the image of masculinity towards me.